can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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