4 words: hood of his car
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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