Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
