Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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