You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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