can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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