He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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