So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
