small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
