you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
