we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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