Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
