This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
