Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
