Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
and she was petting her beer can
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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