I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
