I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
