he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
