so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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