k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
