when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
