foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
