This is not my ceiling
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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