Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
