first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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