omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
