he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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