My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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