I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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