It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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