She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
