hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
