wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
