I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
