Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
