I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
