RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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