I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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