don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
