i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
