I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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