How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
