Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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