i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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