You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
