Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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