At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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