we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
