Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Pants are for mortals
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
