He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
