if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
